Ranchers End Part #1

She didn’t just suck my dick. She sucked it for twenty miles. That’s twenty miles of highway driving while the girl I love is making her best effort to crash the truck. I thought about stopping her exactly twenty times, and ignored myself twenty times while swerving recklessly.


She warned me in the truck. “You should’ve been having your dick sucked while driving for a long time. I’m gonna suck on him all the way home. Are you ready?”


Definitely not is what I thought. But I wanted to try.


She warned me again in the restaurant as we shared onion rings, beer and a hot Italian sandwich so good we ate ravenously like we hadn’t seen food in days. I love watching her eat. She consumes it all so sexy somehow, moaning as she bites down, making every bite matter. We eat the same way, and fooding with her makes me want to sneak her to the bathroom for a quickie. I propose it, and she doesn’t seem offended, but we’re too busy eating to stop.


Our sweet, petite Spanish waitress set down our baskets and my girl attacked the obligatory hot cherry peppers with abandon the moment our server turned heel. She plucks the first one clean from the stem in four seconds. Gone. She’s grinning and humming with delight and grabs the second cherry as if it had been a bad, bad pepper needing punishment. Like a predator she bites into it relentlessly like as spicy juice and seeds flow down her chin. She bites again and kills it, wipes her chin and stares at me with her enormous, brown, seductive eyes. She and I realize I’m frozen in mid bite into a onion ring. I’m just watching her eat and I have a boner. She says nothing, but her eyes and mischievous smile tell me unequivocally, “This is what I’m gonna do to you motherfucker, and you can’t stop me.”


About ten miles out of town she tells me to undo my button fly jeans. I thought about it for five seconds as I flipped the buttons free. “She wants us to die today. And this is how. And I’m OK with it. The paramedics are gonna love this one.”


“Jeezus Bill, what the fuck happened here?!”


“Death by sex if you ask me Marcus.”


“What? You can’t be serious. I know you’re a fucking perv and you love sick jokes no one else likes, but come on. This is fucked up man. Are you fucking serious?”


Bill stared straight ahead at the upside down mangle that once was an F-150 truck.  


“Jeezus Bill, you’re serious, huh?”


“These two just couldn’t wait I’m afraid. No seat belts. His pants are down, his shirt is unbuttoned. Car crashes don’t undress people Marcus.”


“I know that, but, I just don’t understand. How is he still…”




“Yeah, I mean fuckin hell Bill, he’s dead right?”


“As far as I can tell. I’ve never seen it either. His neck and back are broken and he’s dead as fuck, but he’s hard as Chinese algebra. I reckon it’s because they somehow landed on top of each other.”


“Right? Seventy-five fucking miles an hour and they end up on top of each other? No one’s gonna believe this shit. We should take pictures.”


“Normally I’d tell you what a sick fuck you are Bill, but in this instance I agree. Look at the way they are both smiling right through the blood. Ejected from a truck and dead, and still fucking.”


“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful Bill.”


“No you haven’t Marcus. This is what true love looks like.”


Luckily, unbelievably, we made it home. Curves were the worst. My hands knew how to turn but somehow couldn’t. My motor skills faded with each plunge into her hot mouth. I swerved across the double yellow when she pulled my ball sack with her tongue. I went blind momentarily and rode too tight on the ass of an eighteen wheeler when she licked my shaft like a lollipop.


Brakes? Gas? Which am i pushing? Barely driving, for a moment I see through the sex haze and realize I’m pushing seventy in a fifty zone. All I can think is, “We have to get home and fuck. We have to get home and fuck right now.” Pulling into the quiet, conservative hamlet of Rye, I nearly hit the town’s singular yield sign. No one turns into Rye receiving the best fellatio the universe has to offer, but I did, and I felt lucky to be alive.


To be continued…..